Hurtful words

I'm at a point where I don't know if I can be forgiven. I've said the most cruel words. I've said them to her. They didn't have the same meaning when they were being arranged in my head. She says it's ok, but at the end of the day my hands freeze when they touch her and I return to bed still dripping with shame. I should never have even let my voice be heard on the subject. I don't ever want to hurt her. And I have. More than someone could if they tried. Don't let me forget this. Don't let me make the same mistake ever again.

TheSovietChairman

Holidays

It's a sweaty night. I'm lying in bed, on my phone. My girlfriend has been staying with my family for several days now and I think it's done us all some good. With someone else around, we stay mostly on our best behaviour. My family have embraced her and it makes me so happy. My new computer has arrived and is amazing. I'm finally able to run a certain videogame on full screen and with some nice filters applied. My mate asked my girlfriend how she managed to hold any of my attention now that my new computer had a certain maternal game (3rd in the series) installed. She came back with a suitably naughty comment pertaining to the various ways she could hold my attention. Since she's been here I haven't played many videogames to any real extent. Hmmm... We'll have to change that.

Enjoy the break and pause to reflect on the Saviour come to earth this Christmas.

With love,

TheSovietChairman

P.S. Despite the new laptop, no internet connection means further use of my phone for blogging purposes.

Thanks, everyone

Thank you for cheering me up.
Thank you for offering to have a beer with me.
Thank you for reaffirming that you care.
Thank you for the early Christmas present (even though I already have that book).
Thank you for your humour.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for sharing in my distress.
Thank you for dissipating my fears.

Much love,

TheSovietChairman

And the tally's complete

I've become a bigger burden on everyone. I've let down those that I care about the most. Dad says that it's just a small hurdle. It offers a bigger obstacle than he would guess, I'm sure. Thanks for sticking by me, those of you that will. And to those that might not: It's been great. I'll miss you.

TheSovietChairman