Thursday, 9 September 2010

No birds, no scribbles, no sleep

Just a happy, but tired Engineering student.

I don't like to talk much about what I study. I understand how little most people would care about the design of a wind turbine's gearbox. It's mathematics and physics and, well... boring to most.

But that's what I've been doing. If any future employers are reading this, then I'd like to say how much I enjoy this sort of project work and would love to join your team of highly skilled Engineers, especially if you're in the Bendigo area.

Otherwise, I wouldn't like to say that so much.

"What extension?"

"The one you told me about last night."

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I freakin' rang you, and you said we had 'til Monday. What was that about?"

"Nope. It's due today, right? How's it coming along?"

"No. I specifically remember asking you, LAST NIGHT. YOU SAID WE HAD 'TIL MONDAY."

"Oh. I don't remember..."

*Bursts into hysterics*

"I'm sorry! I couldn't resist!"

"Sh*t! Screw y- What the..? Aaargh! Okay. It's funny. I'm slowly understanding that this is funny. Oh, dammit. You got me."

*Joins in the laughter*

Yeah. Forty pages short on a one hundred and twenty page project is a LOT short. But we will get there. It's been a long, troublesome process. But we will get there.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who goes a little crazy. Don't sweat it when the nasties in your brain take over. After a message like that, My Love, I can sleep soundly and happily, for the couple of hours I've allotted myself. We're all needy in different ways. We both need to recognise how to help each other out. You have my attention for every minute I can spare it, and for many minutes where I can't. That's the way I like it. I like sitting, breathing with you, feeling your presence, even if it's down the phone line. I really appreciated the reminder of how much I mean to you. You got it in my language, to a T. When things get tough, and people snap, I'm learning to develope potholes down on Memory Lane (thanks, Randy). In time, I'll need the same.

"Is she The One?"

"Yes. It's awesome. She's awesome."

"Wow. I'm so happy to hear you've made the commitment. That's great. Walk with me."

She is The One. Not because of any concept I believe in that could possibly construe the Universe to offer me one person on the planet that I have to go out and find. Only because I decided she's The One. And she's chosen me to be her One. I decided she's The One I will marry- there won't be any other. She's The One I'll become one with- two separate units as part of another, different unit. She'll be the mother of my children, the caretaker of my heart, and it's not who she is that makes her The One. It's the decision to have One and for that One to be her. And I would never wish for anyOne else.

Hopefully I'll manage some sketching tonight- some scribble or other. It might not make up for the lack of posts, or the soppiness of this one, but it'll get the post-assignment ball rolling.

Much love,



  1. You and Rox both with all this talk of love and marraige. You two are going to drive me lonely. :(

    I'm glad you're in one peice though, dear. And seemingly happy if not busy. Keep it up. I may not understand what you're studying but it'll all be worth it.

    Many hugs,

  2. I'm sorry. When I was single, I was either wanting her, or loving being single. It can be tough.

    I hope my studies are worth it. I hope My Love will stay strong for me if/when things get bumpy in my career.

    My greatest fear is that she'll bail when things get hard, then I crumble come exam time, because I've convinced myself that my future with her is somehow linked to whether I can pass this paper.

    I should have more faith in her. I know she loves me. It's just silly that I get scared. Words of encouragement and assurance, words that say she'll be with me in sickness and in health, words like those are always appreciated.

    I don't want to let her down.

  3. Don't fear- trust. Love casts out all fear, right? If it's meant to be, it's meant to be :).

    Trust that in wind, hail, storms or sunshine, everything will work according to His will for you, and for Kat.

  4. I'm not sure that this is completely justified but occasionally I feel a little bit offended that you have such little faith in my moral fibre. I will say this once - and once only because I am not used to public declarations like this - I am going to do my best and I'm going to stick around for you. I'm still trying to learn the art of love, remember. <3

  5. I really like the strength I see in you now. I'm sorry for my occasionally weak faith. Don't worry, I just got that comment tattooed on my wrist, so I can see it all the time :).

    "...and I'm going to stick around for you."

    I'm yours.