Friday, 30 January 2009

Healthy time!

After several days in rural Victoria, I feel much... healthier. Apart from a tummy upset from too much coffee, that is.

I went to two gym classes (one aerobics and another balance and core strength type stuff), went for (romantic) walks in the park, ate pumpkin pasta and salads for dinner, kept snacking to a minimum and even managed to study more than I thought was possible.

Like Dad says, "Don't worry. She'll get you fit."

Although, after watching Paprika last night we both woke up after extensive (and distressing) dreams. One about scary driving scenarios and Indian families and another about fears for the future. Oh, boy.

I didn't spend a cent while I was at her place, so I might go to the cinema tonight with friends. They're all suffering through this heatwave without air conditioning. I got a call saying they all missed me and I had to see them again soon. I miss them too. And their couch.

An update for those who are interested: Even though she (the one who's being... tiresome) said she doesn't ever want to see me again, she has decided that she doesn't mean it and that her memories of us having fun together made her realise that we have to keep trying to be friends... she thinks... I'll take it as it comes. There's only one girl I'll get on bended knee for anymore. And she knows it.

Back to study, I think.

Missing you,


Thursday, 29 January 2009

So hot

Lethargic day.
It must be 50 degrees outside, and 45 indoors.


Fell asleep between last sentence and this one. Sorry. Too hot ... makes one glad not to be playing in the Australian open.

~~ post by Evan's (extremely hot) girlfriend.

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Showing off

It took me ages, so I'll claim bragging rights. My CD collection has finally been ripped to my new computer. Rejoice, all!


Come, all you loyal heroes

At Oremore, in the county Galway,
we travel the spaceways from planet to planet
Her eyes are oceans of freedom
Don't wait up

I'm the singer
Howdy, people
Well, once I was persuaded
shall I meet you over yonder

You'll say
Hey, Jude
I'm a billion ages past you
Liar, Liar, pants on fire

Her eyes are underneath the ground,
I'm so cool
haru ga kita,
Well and I can and I die

Well you know that it's going to be alright
Ooh, Aeon, my baby boy
In taberna quando sumus
Love you so much


I'm having a blast near the hospital, visiting my girlfriend. A friend of mine made a poem using the first line of the first 20 songs to play randomly on his playlist (and posted that on his blog), and I thought my musical tastes might render this impossible, but the above "poem" says otherwise. I must admit that I did skip a yodeling track. "Youiioooodeeeiiooo" was the closest spelling I could manage, but it broke the rhythm too much. Also, the title is the twenty first song to play. Prizes will be awarded to those who figure out more than ten of the songs used. Or not.


Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Australia Day

Sorry, I'm a day late, but...

...Happy Australia Day! Oh, and Chinese New Year!

I was stationed in the water park yesterday, monitoring slides and rides and the river. First I was placed on "Tiny Tots", the kiddie play area. It's an on-going joke...

After some time I went to replace another guard at the bottom of the pink and blue waterslides. I had a little trouble, as is always the case, with people coming down in quick succession, some knocking into each other and some larger adults ploughing through children and some little'uns deflecting off the larger torsos of the big'uns. There was a particularly problematic group who stood out physically from most of the other patrons. Apart from being well-built, they were also of a rather stand-out ethnicity. You may already see the relevance of this, or more importantly, the definite irrelevance.

Initially they were just piling down the slides all at once, bumping heads and laughing it off. For health and safety purposes, not to mention insurance, we really can't afford to let this kind of thing happen. I proceeded to tell them not to do it any more, however their shenanigans would not abate. I forcefully told them of the dangers present to themselves and the other park guests. After still more trouble from them, I roared as best I could, detailing the necessity to physically extract them should they continue to act as they had been. They finally took notice and, after each trouble-free use of each slide, they greeted me and apologized for their prior indiscretions.

Soon it was my turn to take place at the top of a near-by slide (the aforementioned pair were almost completely unmonitored from the top) to regulate the rate at which guests went down. The top of the other two slides was visible in my periphery, but i took a while to notice what was happening beside me.

They were at it again. The new lad down the bottom, who I had complete sympathy for in his struggles to approach these large, misbehaving guests, was timidly "peep"-ing on his whistle as they hurled down the slides, faster than ever. I left my post to alert them to the fact that just because I'd donned a waterproof outfit, it was still I, the one with the beard, who was standing ever-so-close to them, and still had at my command the ability to escort them off the premises.

Apart from a few minor mishaps (one of which infuriated me, as two of the group forced my leg aside as I blocked the slide entrance in an attempt to enforce protocol) they seemed to be on their best behavior for the time being.

I was then called to lunch, after which, I was posted to the river. This didn't last long, though. I was called back to the slides and upon my return I was informed that a certain group of people were causing trouble. "I'm not racist, you know, but there's a group of ------ who are mucking about and bein' dangerous. They're big guys, but if they give you any more trouble, us blue-shirts'll back you up. No dramas." said one of the maintenance staff when I got to the slides. I informed him of my previous interactions with the group and guaranteed my swift action, should any trouble arise.

With eyes fixed on the group, I waited. I knew they would slip up, and if it was caught on camera that I failed to act... I didn't want to think about the consequences. Sure enough, they started chanting and jumping off parts of the equipment that ought not to be jumped off. They endangered children and play-fought in a manner I felt was inappropriate and hazardous. They were situated under the main body of the structure, which for guests' amusement dumps torrents of water over everything. I had to get wet. As soon as I approached, one of the party shook me by the hand and offered his assistance. After calling the group to attention, I informed them all of the danger that they were putting the other park guests in and requested that they halt all such activities. I explained that no further warning would be offered, merely an escort to the front gates. They immediately calmed down and no further trouble on their behalf was witnessed. Before I departed from them, they demanded to know how the water park manager had addressed them to me. Anticipating their meaning, I stated the importance, every day of the year but especially on Australia Day, that each of the park's employees places on multiculturalism and that none of the racism they were assuming had taken place. He said that he knew I wasn't racist, but he suspected "the fat manager girl" was a bit racist.

I was aghast. He didn't see the hypocrisy? None of our managers are large, and his reference to her weight was unnecessary, degrading and discriminatory. Ah, well. I didn't want press the issue.

A ----- guy like him probably wouldn't understand anyway.

Friday, 23 January 2009

Long time coming

Look up. Not too far up. See that light? Its bulb just died. Shaking it confirmed as much, when the sound of the element rattling rang out in my near-silent bedroom.

Its replacement is clear, not even pearl, but clear. Free from any of my sister's artwork. But not liberated.

I'll miss you and what you represent.

Attention spam

I had a long walk with my sister last night. I had just been having a "vigorous exchange of conflicting views" with my father and I needed to cool off. We got onto the topic of how much of ourselves we share with others. I share a lot usually, but I try to tread carefully if it concerns someone other than myself. My sister doesn't share as much. In fact, she barely shares anything for fear of criticism.

It seems my efforts to talk about what's been happening in my life to encourage interaction, and maybe foster some sharing in return, have had the opposite effect to their intention.

It seems to her that my thoughts rarely stray into the realm of other people, unless they directly effect myself in a notable way. Or at least this was how my discussion was interpreted. I don't see my sister often, so it's often necessary to catch up on quite a lot that has happened, but my offering of information has made her more timid. She suggested that in comparison to mine, her issues seemed trivial. Hmmm...

I must try to make my life sound less interesting.

In all seriousness, I must try to strike a balance between gently nudging for information and leading by example. My short attention span adds to the problems when I cut her off mid-sentence.

Catch ya!


Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Fast-food blogging

I'm a little scared at the moment. I'm afraid I don't know my limits. Have I given away too much, even on this blog?

Have I broken the angle I first aimed for? I'm sure my posts will pick up. I'm just a little sick of the severity of what I've been churning out of late. The severe confusion, the severe criticism... the severe love.

This is meant to be jovial; a light-hearted scent of what's really happening. Not some winge-fest or angsty drivel. It's meant to be consequence-free drivel.

Yes, I do love her, but by shouting it out, am I cheapening it?

This leads me to a question that's been plaguing me:

Where can one buy a kebab on the peninsula in the wee hours of the morning?

Sunday, 18 January 2009


She gave me two gifts:

The first was a reminder of the One who loved me before I was born.

The other is still coming in trickles, worth every day I'll spend waiting for it to form in its beautiful entirety.

I gave her what I could.

Friday, 16 January 2009


In reality, I've been very online. My mind has been sharper at times (that eases my worries) and I've been in contact with a lot of people.

None of which I've really had time for. Sorry, y'all.

It appears someone's heart is offline.

I've been working three days a week and at Summer School for two days a week (Tuesday and Friday, for those interested) and my two spare days haven't really been spare at all, but I've made time for my best mate, and I thought I'd made time for another.

It started out with good intentions, I'm sure. That's why it's so baffling. We'd arranged to meet and go to the beach. My memory, not what it aught to be, thought we were meeting when another friend finished work, around 5:00pm. I got out of my 3:15 class and received a text saying she was at a location on Uni grounds. I said that I thought we were waiting for said friend, but it became apparent that I'd forgotten that 3:15 was the time we'd planned. This was a tad inconvenient, as I'd arranged to have coffee with someone until 4:00. I suggested she come along, then we head to the beach after the coffee. This sent her into a tirade that ended with her informing me via text message that our friendship was over and could never be resuscitated.

I thought that was a little extreme.

I thought to myself, how can anyone treat a person they've spent so long caring about in such a manner? I waited around until I couldn't take it any more. I went to the beach where I knew she'd be. I searched for her in the scorching heat for an hour, until I saw her dejected form, backpack in tow, heading for the tram stop. I stopped her, and hugged her. she pulled in close, but on principle refused to put her arms around me, until I asked her to. She said that things couldn't go on the way they were going.

This perplexed me. Apparently I'd let her down too many times. Apparently I could never again call her my friend. She said that she'd spent too long crying over me, when I let her down in a myriad of ways. Foolish as I was, I begged and pleaded. I said I'd make sure I always put her first (silly, I know, when there are worthy people who deserve my all). I went down on bended knees, not afraid to be seen like this in public. She questioned my motives for being her friend. I told her I love her. She asked why. The girl who so many times, in so many ways, told me how she loved me and would always love me asked why I bother. I explained as best I could. I tried to do justice to what we'd meant to each other and what she meant to me.

Side note: It all seems clear when I type all this, that if she didn't care about me so much, she'd have forgiven me for requesting an extra 45 minutes.

She then proceeded to tear up every few minutes, while bringing up every thing I'd ever done. She said she felt she'd paid for the grievances she'd caused me during a period in which I'd suffered a mental break-down at her hands (to be fair, neither of us did any good to each other at that time). She said that she couldn't love me and she had deleted my phone number. She wanted to sever the connections she has with my some of our mutual friends as well, and I can only hope I dissuaded her from it.

The tram ride back was mostly uneventful. That is, until near the end. I told her that she couldn't just say, "Friendship terminated" and we'd forget everything and never hang out again. She said she'd have to threaten me if I approached her again and that I was only allowed to speak to her at meal times while we were at college. I said that she was being silly, and that we'd be friends again. I said that if she told me she needed to not see me for a year, then we could try being friends again, I'd be willing to do that. She said she'd file for harassment if I ever visited her. I said that I had no fear of anything she could do. What fear is there beyond losing a loved one? Her empty threats became too apparent to herself, so she burst into tears.

How did this happen? Look where it came from! --> Note the rare use of the exclamation mark.

Through the tears she said I must agree only to speak to her at dinner times and never to hug her. I quickly said there would be no need, as I wouldn't have anything to do with her. She got her wish. I proceeded to depart the tram several stops too early.

Now, this leads me to several important questions:

1. Would this have been avoided, had I blown off my coffee appointment?
2. Does this make sense to anyone at all?
3. What are the real motives behind such demands?
4. Would I be going against who I am if I let her treat me like this?
5. Should I just think of the many friends around me and the beautiful girl who cares for me and be content to leave her be?

I think one of the most important things that needs to be stated here is this:


The uppercase letter weren't shouting. They're just important, so that anyone reading this won't miss them.

An amazing friend of mine once said to me: "Please don't waste any more energy on her. You have someone who is worthy of your heart."

I do, but I also have a big heart.

Thanks everyone who has been supportive of me and puts up with my idiosyncrasies.


P.S. I think I'll put my purple shirt on soon to make me happy. It really is that easy.

Friday, 9 January 2009

Hi ho hi ho

I wish I was going home... Ah, well. I suppose this isn't really work at all.

I'm going to use this section to bitch, so If you don't want to read it, feel free to skip. I promise I'll try and be more jolly after that.

*** Begin bitching ***

I'm sick of a certain social networking site and it's influence on me. Don't get me wrong, it connects me with the people around me, I'm never on it for extended periods and I can see how people I care about are and what they're up to. It's just every time I log on there's another essay about why Singapore is the new holy land.

You got it. There's a fellow who's among the congregation at my church who won't stop writing essays about how we, Australia should have the death penalty and how Australia should instigate compulsory military service.


Every time I log on, I feel a little more deflated. I wish people would just enjoy some of the good things Australia has to offer.


Since writing that, he's come online and said he won't bother me any more with these topics. He's really not a bad guy. He just focuses on certain things with an uncomfortable frequency. He also says he'll try and enjoy Australia and that he plans on living here.

Wow. Rereading that turns up one terrifying fact: I suck at bitching.

*** End bitching ***

Well. My girlfriend's new house up in Bendigo is amazing. It's got a guest bedroom and fantastic facilities. I'll be visiting her often, I hope.

Hi, everyone. I'd just like to say that I'm thoroughly enjoying myself right now. Uni is fun, doing stuff with my friends is fun, work isn't so bad, the place I live is very beautiful... and I'm also very much in love.

Oops! Shh! Don't tell anyone!



Epic title for a mediocre post. Just a reminder to everyone: Get some sleep.

Thursday, 1 January 2009

New laptop's resolution

It was a fairly good party when all is said and done. My sister partied a little too hard, the fireworks were fun, most people behaved and the pool was a great addition. Although I have to say it was a little odd to get a call around midnight asking if I'd critique a theologically-based thesis. How strange.

I'll soon have the house to myself as my family go on holiday up country. The freedom will be marvelous.

A thought from today: "You are very much a purist in that regard, aren't you?" I don't think purist can be used in that sense, but she meant that I like what is natural and simple and tend to put such concepts on a pedestal. Yes, I guess I do. I've inherited that from my father, but not to the same extent that he does.

Have a great year and I hope I'll see you soon.



P.S. She forgave me.