Saturday, 27 December 2008

Hurtful words

I'm at a point where I don't know if I can be forgiven. I've said the most cruel words. I've said them to her. They didn't have the same meaning when they were being arranged in my head. She says it's ok, but at the end of the day my hands freeze when they touch her and I return to bed still dripping with shame. I should never have even let my voice be heard on the subject. I don't ever want to hurt her. And I have. More than someone could if they tried. Don't let me forget this. Don't let me make the same mistake ever again.


Sunday, 21 December 2008


It's a sweaty night. I'm lying in bed, on my phone. My girlfriend has been staying with my family for several days now and I think it's done us all some good. With someone else around, we stay mostly on our best behaviour. My family have embraced her and it makes me so happy. My new computer has arrived and is amazing. I'm finally able to run a certain videogame on full screen and with some nice filters applied. My mate asked my girlfriend how she managed to hold any of my attention now that my new computer had a certain maternal game (3rd in the series) installed. She came back with a suitably naughty comment pertaining to the various ways she could hold my attention. Since she's been here I haven't played many videogames to any real extent. Hmmm... We'll have to change that.

Enjoy the break and pause to reflect on the Saviour come to earth this Christmas.

With love,


P.S. Despite the new laptop, no internet connection means further use of my phone for blogging purposes.

Saturday, 13 December 2008

Thanks, everyone

Thank you for cheering me up.
Thank you for offering to have a beer with me.
Thank you for reaffirming that you care.
Thank you for the early Christmas present (even though I already have that book).
Thank you for your humour.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for sharing in my distress.
Thank you for dissipating my fears.

Much love,


Friday, 12 December 2008

And the tally's complete

I've become a bigger burden on everyone. I've let down those that I care about the most. Dad says that it's just a small hurdle. It offers a bigger obstacle than he would guess, I'm sure. Thanks for sticking by me, those of you that will. And to those that might not: It's been great. I'll miss you.


Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Summer blues

I'm lying in bed. My face is sore with sunburn for the first time since I started this job. I just took off my hat and completely forgot.

Mostly my job consists of letting people down waterslides, supervising the water playground and watching people float by on rubber tubes. It's a nice summer job. Sometimes I crave monotony, but lately it just gets me thinking about things I'd like to fix.

Of which I could talk all day.

Let me just say that her family is giving her a hard time about me. Her mother is particularly unhappy. It's getting to the point where the things she says are childish snaps that I find hard to believe could come from an educated person's mouth. She must be intelligent. She just appears to be very childish when it concerns her daughter's dating habits.

I won't say any more on the topic.

It seemed a pleasant day, the day she graduated. I at least was proud of her and even though I haven't witnessed all her hard work over the years, I'm overjoyed to celebrate in the accomplishment the ceremony was in honour of. Too spiteful? Perhaps.

As I thought... It is difficult typing this out on my little phone keypad...

Let me finish by saying this. Every dejected text I recieve from her, and every down-trodden email that I find in my inbox is a beautiful, yet tragic reminder that she hasn't given up on me yet. She knows I won't give up on her.

Thanks, Babe, for pushing on. I pray things will get easier, and that your mother's heart will soften.


Saturday, 29 November 2008

Breathe in... Breathe out...

I just returned from escorting my friend home. It's really quite pleasant at 4:00am, walking in the misty rain through Melbourne's largest inner-city park. I saw a fox (not a monkey) run across the road in front of me and I couldn't help being brought back to the last time I made the journey. The weight of the work I was supposed to be doing made it not nearly as pleasant before. Now I'm free and everything seems easier. I don't feel exhausted. Instead I feel sleepy. That's a big difference.

I'm cleaning the apartment at this odd hour, but I think my cleaning will have to be confined to this room, as there's a body lying on the couch. I think it's the guy that my French housemate was with before. I don't mind letting strays occupy my lounge room. I always appreciate a couch or patch of floor to stick a sleeping bag on, so I'm happy to offer it in return. I think he might be a little upset that he'll only be getting a few hours sleep. We'll wait until I move in at 6:00am to start cleaning to see how he manages.

This is my last post from Melbourne for a while. I'll be back in my family's home soon. I think most of the posts I make from there will come straight from my mobile, so they won't be as long. I'm really using this as a procrastination tool. Again. Back to cleaning, Evan.

I'm still missing her. I imagine I'll have to go much longer without seeing her after she moves to Bendigo, but I'll make sure to visit as often as I can. I'm hoping for every weekend.

I'm actually starting to get nervous about meeting her parents. I want everything to run smoothly and I want her to know that I'll do what she wants. She knows her parents best and knows how best to approach them. All that matters to me is that she cares about me, but it's important that her family (and friends)... Well... I don't want them to hate me. I'm sure they won't. The only thing that's made me a little scared is a conversation I had with a Chinese Malaysian girl recently about her family. They won't acknowledge that she's dating a white guy. They expressly forbid her to ever date an Indian guy. And the amount of money a guy has to his name is very important.

I know her family couldn't be like that or she wouldn't be the beautiful person she is, but I still get scared. I pray that they'll see who I am. Not my age, ethnicity, grades, connections, bank balance, etc., but who I am and how much I love their daughter and sister. Let me reiterate that I know they won't be as bad as the stories my friend told me of her family. Not even close. But it sure doesn't help to settle the butterflies hearing stories like that.

That is to say, if she's ready to introduce me at all. It might not be the right time yet. It's up to her. My precious girl...

Keep enjoying the break, baby.


Friday, 28 November 2008

Sweet repose

I sat in front of the television, watching a documentary about Japanese "host" clubs, choc-mint Baileys in hand, while eating a low-fat pie... at 2:00am in the morning. This is my way of staying healthy after exams? To make matters worse, I think I texted my girlfriend and annoyed her while she's trying to relax in Queensland at this silly hour. Oh, well.

It's been a roller coaster of a day and my emotions have been all over the shop (my body's way of coping with finishing all that ruddy assessment) but I think I enjoyed a large portion of it (the day, not the assessment). I went out with a good friend of mine to a "pop culture specialist" store. She and I enjoyed ourselves. Another girl who has a tendency to be nasty on occasion - upon seeing my distress today - decided to make everything better. She looked after me today like she once did. She can be very good at it. I know she still loves me and days like these help to remind me of that.

I shouldn't encourage felonious behaviour in people, but it can be fun to impart a little street-smarts sometimes.

Tomorrow I'll spend the entire day cleaning my apartment, so that I can move out Saturday morning and head back to my family's house. The walls will need to be scrubbed, it's that bad. I don't know how grime can accumulate so quickly, but it does.

Sleep is a great gift indeed. I was holding off on indulging, just so I could feel tired enough to slip blissfully into a dormant state, the level of tiredness amping up the level of satisfaction.

Sweet dreams... I'm snoring already...


Thursday, 27 November 2008


"Oh, Jen. Don't Be such an old fuddy duddy. The world has changed. If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran."

-- Roy, The IT Crowd

I'm glad they're over. So very very glad. I'm so glad in fact, that I feel quite nauseous. I don't care about the results. I put in all the work I could for the time I had left. I should have started earlier, but my resolve didn't kick in until later than I'd like. Certain signals made it clear that it would be best if I didn't fail.

Let's hope I didn't.

Now I can manage my regime of daily jogs and healthy eating. First things first, though. Hit the pub for a burger and play video games until my eyeballs bleed.

Congratulations to everyone who made it through our ridiculous exam schedule.

I'd like to especially thank a friend who helped pull us all through. His 3am tutorials and genuine concern demonstrate his very selfless nature. Thanks, mate. I really couldn't have done it without you.

My thoughts are with my beautiful baby, partying it up Queensland way. She's enduring gloomy rain, when our dear old Melbourne has been eternally bathed in a warm glow. Perfect beach weather. Wrong end of the country. Send it her way. It'll serve her better. It's just making the students who still have exams weep for freedom.

I'm very tired.

Sweet dreams,


Monday, 24 November 2008

This place

It's later than it should be, but not as late as it will get.

It's colder than I'd like, but my head feels too warm.

It's after my birthday but before the celebrations.

It's after the second moment of inertia of my workload but before the region of zero pressure.

It's after she's gone.

I want to hold her.

She got together with my best mate and organised a wonderful end to a terrible day. She made sure I had no suspicion (although I guessed what they would get for me) about what they were up to. I'd resigned to the fact that I was letting people down by not celebrating when they were so ready to share the day with me. And then they made it all better. A surprise supper, gifts and love. And a disgruntled French girl. Oops. She has forgiven us now.

Madame Francaise is a lot less uptight and I think it helped her realise how highly strung we were becoming. We're calming down in our relationships within that house. We take time out together, just relaxing and laughing. Maybe it's because, well, if we don't then we're left with a sour taste when we look back, I guess. That apartment has a story that should be told. My angle alone wouldn't do it justice, but soon I'll try and retell what I can recall: The violence, the warmth, the separation, the charity, the bloodshed, the break-downs and the love.

I'm about to take a power nap before ploughing on through what I need to remember for tomorrow's (today's?) paper.

I'm glad there are people who will still care for me even if everything falls apart.

I pray that it won't, but I also don't fear it too much. I need to be realistic about what I can do with the time I have left. I haven't always had the benefit of someone who cares enough to want me to do well in my studies. My studies aren't who I am, but I want to do my best for the people around me.

And since the sermon a few weeks back; for God.

Look after each other and give me a hug if you see me around.


P.S. Best. Surprise. Ever.

P.P.S. Seriously.

Saturday, 22 November 2008

I miss you

Waiting for your smile to return.
I take everything too fast.
For my crimes,
I keep paying the price.

Wake up, Wonderful Creature,
Daughter of God.
I live in hope of your return,
The best thing that ever happened,

Never happened.

Creator God, I pray this;
If your majestic plan can't fit
A love like mine into her heart,
Then let me live,

In the wake of her joy.

Lord, make my focus your focus.
Don't let this be an afterthought.


Thursday, 20 November 2008




I cried. Not hard or long, but sweet gentle tears. The reunion I thought could never happen, but secretly hoped for? The way it panned out made me feel as though I was as weak as a child, but also as new as one, ready to face anything and everything.

Oh, Lucas and Claus... If only things had been different. If only you'd had more time.

Kumatora. Sweet princess. You've grown so much from the rogue we first met.

And Duster. Look after that silly father of yours. He might keep calling you a moron, but he does love you.

Boney. Keep being that silly dog you are. Your disguise was hilarious.

Leder. You played your part well.

Oh, Flint. We can live on for those who didn't make it. We'll join them soon enough.

Even Porky. Did you really deserve what became of you? Is it the only way you'll learn? Don't keep your tongue stuck out too long.

Thank you for the ride. It was truly something special.



P.S. To all the other big-hearted travelers on the road: Thanks also. Without you, we'd never have made it.

Sunday, 16 November 2008


Thermodynamics, Fluid Mechanics, Electro-Mechanical Systems Modeling, Computational Mechanics, Engineering Design, Materials, Engineering Analysis. These are what take all my time away. No time to sleep. Once they're done, I can relax. All will be well. Sleep... Calls... Me...

My dad was especially kind this morning. Not that he isn't always (That said, he isn't, but that's not what I'm saying). I asked if he'd help out someone I love. His response showed that there could be no greater pleasure for him. I knew he would, but it surprised me how generous he was willing to be at an instant. I think he likes her. I think my whole family likes her. I think I like her a bit too.

Even though they can be a pain, it's sometimes really nice to have my parents. Him and Mum went on a date last night, so that's probably why he was happy. I'm glad, because he's often very stressed. I pray that we'll all make it through the looming economic depression. I know there won't be any real drama, but I'm sure everyone will feel it to some extent.

I hope "the girl" (she refers to me as "the boy" to her friends, so I think it's only fair) gets to join my family and I for some time. That would be fantastic. If anyone else is reading this, I'm probably working at least five days a week over the summer, but I'd love a visit sometime.

Gimme a buzz. I'd love to see you.


Saturday, 15 November 2008


Things have come together nicely of late. I often feel like everything I do is conducted from inside a snowball, running down a hill, grabbing snow where I need to, just catching it as I go past. Every now and then a side will fall off, and the path will be a little bent for a while, until it evens out and becomes more round. I never have too long (or give myself too long) to make decisions. The important ones keep the general shape of the ball intact and so far it hasn't lost momentum to any real extent.

That's the furthest I've pushed an analogy in recent memory, but it's also one that I've thought of often. Things just seem to work, even though I grab at things on the fly. I don't get bored. I don't stop. When I rest, things get harder to start again. Things have been really bad. But external things seem to line up, somewhat to my favour.

I hope I can have the time and energy to reach out to the people around me. They look out for me.

Thanks to everyone who makes it easy to keep rolling, and throws me a life-line every so often. Thanks to my wonderful family and friends and everyone I love.

Friday, 14 November 2008

Somewhere I belong

Approaching the training day yesterday at the water park, I noticed something. I didn't belong, in a purely aesthetic sense. They handed out booklets that said as much, but it was obvious when I arrived. I was the only guy there with facial hair. I was the only guy there who's hair touched his shoulders. I was the only guy who didn't have a great deal of product keeping his locks looking intentionally disheveled. I was also the only guy there with nail polish. That last one was to be expected, but to have it spelled out in a manual was strange.

- Sideburns must be cut above the earlobe
- No goatees or beards, only a neatly trimmed moustache is allowed
- No nail polish

Them's the rules, I guess. So I prepared myself mentally for the looming beardlessness, and hoped that my hair would look ok after a trim. I sought out the Human Resources Manager to ask what steps I should take.

"No. It looks neat. That's fine."

I didn't ask about the nails, though.

Thursday, 13 November 2008


After returning home for training at the theme park I'll be working at, I started on my way home via public transport, when I got a message from Mum: "I just read your message. I could never forget you! Have a good trip back. Enjoy the storm. Love Mum ;-(". I was unsure at first as to what she was referring. Then I remembered a message I sent her just before I arrived at the station on the way to my family's house, to herald my arrival and signify that she should probably pick me up: "Hey, Mum! Don't forget me!"

I witnessed a sad state of affairs on the tram tonight. I approached the tram stop through the pouring rain with an old lady, the two of us alone in the middle of the street. She looked up at me and said in a thick accent: "So vet! I'm hardly veahrink anysink!"
"No, it's not much fun, is it?" I replied.
As the tram pulled up, people emerged from the side streets and under the shops to board. She got on behind me and stopped in front of a large man, sitting across more seats than he needed. He was whispering to himself a mixture of profanities. She demanded he move over to accommodate her.
"F-f-f... Off..." he managed.
"You don't look too young yourself. Now let me sit zehr!" she said.
"Fu-fucking old bag..." he stammered, not making eye contact and shaking a little.
"Vye you! You don't call me zat!" she screamed, lifting her woven grocery bag, "I am a woman of eighty years! You don't talk to me like ziss."
"F-f-fucking old... fucking old..." he whispered, reeling from the shock of the impact to his head.
"No! You bastard!" she turns to the tram driver, "He calls me such sings!"
"You watch your language." insisted the driver to the man seated.
The woman raised her bag again, clipping him again, but not as hard, "And you, there's no need for that!" added the driver to the woman.
"I kill him."
She takes her seat.
"The bastard, I kill him. The bastard. He's dead."
The few of us in the tram watched sadly as the two deranged people fumed in their seats. It was such a sad sight to behold.

I had a friend over so we could study together in my apartment. I met him at the gate, took him through the main entrance and then we walked up to the building where I live. We were met by sirens blaring. Someone had set off the fire alarm. I asked people who were hanging around out the front, but they didn't know what was going on. My dutch apartment mate was with those waiting to be let back in. She turned to me and said: "It's sad. This is the most interesting thing of the day. This is like there's happening something!" So cute.

I hope all your days finish on a nice note, even if you have to rearrange them before you post about them.


Monday, 10 November 2008

All's well

...Because it ended well.

After that last post I felt I couldn't just leave it there. My day became wonderful.

I'm on the bus now, blogging from the keypad of my phone because I want to express my joy. I came out of the paper with the sun shining and smiles everywhere. After a nervous, IM-based conversation I played some SSBB with my housemate. Then some dinner of spiced chicken and lasagne. Then a game of Ultimate Frisbee. Then the greatest thing I invented in the last six hours: Having a beer in the shower with the stereo blaring.

Ok, I didn't invent it, but it was awesome! Actually, minus the stereo, it was my dutch housemate's idea.

And now I've arrived!

Bye bye!


Spot the odd one out!

Short term

Of late I've been hearing people tell of their ambitions for short-term relationships. Does that sound weird to anyone else? I know it's common, but it seems so clinical. A short-term relationship, when I talk about it could be as long as five years, but the key feature is an intention for it to be temporary. I understand that not everybody has designs of marriage or a life-long partner, but I can't help feeling that a relationship of that nature is strategic, rather than something more organic. It seems to say, I will be there emotionally or physically for you, but only for a time. I will give myself to you, but not for too long. It is important to note that this is quite different from acknowledging that a relationship won't work out and ending it after a time.

I live in a college with many people from many different countries. Some will stay, some will return home, so the phenomenon isn't uncommon. This is all well and good, but excuse my notion of love. It doesn't allow for this arrangement. I couldn't do it, personally. If I can see the end clearly then it's wasting my emotional energy.

I don't mean to be judgmental. I'm just trying to understand. I guess some will do it and come out unscathed. I'm not one of those people.

With love,


Sunday, 9 November 2008

Dream after dream

I had a terrifying dream last night. Not one of the usual ones about parents losing me in a giant delicatessen or where everyone I know fades into a picket fence, but one of the standard ones that normal people have. I dreamed I was living in an apartment with my sister and it had a paddock out the back, one I knew to be inhabited by giant spiders. She said she thought a huntsman (large, Australian spider) had got in, but I was certain it was one of these giant ones from behind the apartment. I flicked the light switch on and off, and two spiders the size of dinner plates bolted out from the curtains. One sped across the roof, and another along the floor. I ran into the corridor and one of them followed at a blinding pace. It went first for my left foot, so I lifted it off the ground. It changed direction and headed for my right so I hopped onto my other foot. By this time it had caught up to me. I switched feet again, and it faced the other way, so I had to keep going. each time it aimed for the foot that had just landed on the floor. After about thirty seconds of doing this dance, I woke up and groped up and down my body looking for anything with silky black hair, about the size of a large hat.

But from then on, my day was fantastic (and will probably continue to be thus). I awoke feeling refreshed after not as much sleep as I would have liked. I saw the sun, heard the birds and thought: "Today I will study hard. I am awake. I am energized. That is so not happening! I'm going to church and visiting my girl!" I sprinted to the bus stop after I found I was nearly late. I arrived a sweaty mess on her door, but she held me just the same. After a short wash, I was fit to go to church and she was ready for choir practice.

We walked slowly through the sunny streets to the church where she joined with the other members of the choir and I went to have breakfast in the hall adjacent. I met lots of characters: Old engineers interested in modern trends, an enthusiastic accountant and people who had connections with my old church in Geelong. It was really good to chat to everyone. The community was glad to have someone new in their midst. Attending her church feels very natural and easy. The style of worship is one I'm familiar with and the minister remembers everyone's name. It's nice to have new people to talk to. Us college students crave social interaction. Either that or we die. It's hard to avoid it in college.

She sang beautifully, only wobbling at one point where a few seemed to. She sang with confidence that said, I've been here forever and I'm a key member. She has such a wonderful voice. I'd love to see her sing with my sister. My sister is shy and used to have trouble performing in front of others, so it's incredible when my girl sings for me. I'm not used to it and it's truly an awesome gift.

The sun is out and everyone's smiling except for one little girl who won't play nice. Silly girl. Peculiar girl. I hope some of the sunlight filters through her drawn curtains. She's someone who should clear away the spiders.

I hope you're all as happy as I am.


P.S. Sorry to anyone who was freaked out by the inclusion of Eight Melodies several posts ago. It's not that I like it that much, it's more sentimental... oh, Mother, you've given me so much...

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Night out and food

Having a blog that no one reads is good for people who like to laugh at their own jokes. I do. That's probably because I'm hilarious. However, for better or worse, there are people who read this. Some of them hope to check up on me, see how I've been. For them I keep most of my posts happy, because mostly I'm happy. Others specifically look at events, to know what I've done. And others, I'm sure look between the lines to see what deep message pertaining to the state of my psyche they can gleam. There usually isn't anything there. I like having fun, loving and being loved and usually stay mentally healthy.

Last night I went out for dinner and she told me to try and behave in front of her friends. Well, I suggested that we should refrain from too many public displays of affection, if I am to be taken seriously as a boyfriend. It went quite well. I really like spending time with her friends and it was good to see some good responses on their part. We ate unhealthily together, which was nice. I don't often eat badly although I talk about it a lot, so I think a lot of people get the idea that I eat terribly all the time. For those who aren't sure: I don't. For every time I sit down to a large tandoori pizza by myself or indulge in a late-night kebab or breakfast Cherry Ripe, there's many weeks of healthy eating. I love all foods, so I probably eat more than I should, but overall, what I eat is healthy for me. But it was nice to share this unhealthy meal together. We definitely had fun.

A guy who used to live at college, but still always hangs around anyway, gave us a late-night music quiz, which was cool. He had some real classics in there. I was in awe of his ability to select famous songs that people would know, but weren't always obvious. It made me think how much music helps me. Mum's a music teacher, so she has a great appreciation for it. I've developed wide tastes in music because of this. There are very few styles of music I won't go for. It's a lot like that with food.

I adore foods. All foods. There isn't a food I can name off the top of my head that I don't like. How many people have you met like that? Chicken's feet. Yum! Haggis. So good! Tongue with onions. Delicious, despite the weird texture. Brussels sprouts. Oh boy, yeah. All the classic pet hates: bananas, tomatoes, mushrooms, etc. Love 'em all.

She likes to cook. I like to eat. Perfect match.

Get out there and eat something different, y'all.


P.S. I also like to cook, but I'm not very good...

P.P.S. If you've had a fulfilling life and think your time has come, I recommend filling a small bowl with Fruit Loops then covering that with grated tasty cheese. Put the bowl in the microwave until the cheese has just melted. The fruit loops should be just a little soft. Sit down in front of your favourite show. Eat. Smile. Wait for death. It was probably worthy it.

P.P.P.S. It was the french girl who stole my towel!

Friday, 7 November 2008

Take a melody

I enjoy receiving emails from friends I haven't seen in a long time. One of my high school mates says he's gone from being a short kid to over six foot now. He's a cool kid. He's friendly, looks out for others and we share some similar interests.

He is up for anything. He can hang with anyone.
He still likes the things we used to think were fun.

--On My Way, Ben Kweller

Except that I still like the same things... Hmmm...

Need I grow up? It just reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, and then I think, maybe I'm doing fine:

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up"

-- C.S. Lewis

And because of this, I'm just going to sing Eight Melodies and sign off without making a point.



Take a melody
Simple as can be
Give it some words
And sweet harmony

Raise your voices
All day long now
Love grows strong now
Sing a melody of love, oh love

Love is the power
Love is the glory
Love is the beauty
And the joy of spring

Love is the magic
Love is the story
Love is the melody
We all can sing

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Shooting star

My evening didn't end up as good, or as bad as I would have anticipated. I went out to dinner. That was nice. I got back and chatted to my girlfriend. Also nice. I tried to do some more maths. That didn't happen. I youtubed some artist my friend recommended listening to. I found ways to avoid what I HAD to do.

But I found something that worked, in a perverse kind of way: That can of energy drink. The one that froze at the back of the fridge. The one my girlfriend suggested could best be put to use as a weapon. I drank it in the hope that I would gain the energy to which the advertising on the can alluded (admittedly it wasn't a motivation drink, which was what I needed). I immediately felt sleepy. Why had this happened? Was it not working? Had freezing it killed it's power? Oh, well. Nothing for it, except to go to sleep and try for a better day tomorrow.

I lay in bed waiting for sleep to take me. My head was heavy. I felt sleep coming. But then something that hasn't happened since my final year of high school happened. I began to get nervous about what I had to do the next day. Not since I was 17 had I felt that sensation. Worrying that I wouldn't get to sleep when I needed to was keeping me awake. I tossed about, rearranging my arms and the pillows. I did this for a long time before giving in. I knew I had to use this new-found energy. I read several chapter of both James and Acts. I played some video games. I studied seven lectures worth of material. That's right. I studied in earnest for an extended period. It had worked.

After that success, I needed to do other things. My mind had been put to use, now I needed to work on my physical entity. I shaved and trimmed various growths of hair, I cleaned, I flossed and finally I went for a jog. I jogged further than I am normally able. It was fantastic. This was in the early hours of the morning. Early enough that I should be able to go to sleep and wake up comfortably in the time period we usually refer to as morning.

My jogging track is one of the most amazing places in the world. It's a parkland with a massive expanse in the middle and a perfectly circular track around the outside. The panoramic views of the city lights were unbelievable, and the bushland around the edge makes it hidden from people outside it's borders. I love jogging at night when nobody's around. Silhouettes of fruit bats pass overhead while the gentle wind moves the trees. The construction cranes sit a little way off, lit up with lights to warn any air traffic. It's a wonderful place to sit or run or think or just be alone with your thoughts. I've jogged off many a bad temper on that track.

While I was out there I saw a shooting star. That was nice too.

Here's a picture of my jogging track. It's that big circle in the middle.

I finally feel sleepy, so I'll retire to bed... Again...

Sweet dreams,


Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Where's the energy?

This isn't a discussion about a global energy crisis or even my lack of motivation. It's about the final can of energy drink in my fridge.

I bought 23 of them at once from the store at college when they wanted to get rid of them. I saved most of them for important times and for when friends needed an energy hit (assignments, class, burglary, etc.), however now I'm left, without energy because of the silly fridge in my apartment. The temperature changes all the time (my housemates claim innocence, but I think they might change the temperature just to mess with me) and now my last can of energy drink has been frozen solid. Why have you abandoned me, o source of power? Silly fridge...

I haven't done what I needed to do today, but there's still a lot of today left. I should be fine.

Procrastination has been the name of the game today. This post is mostly here because I can't do this mathematics problem. My arc length just isn't coming out right. I've been chatting to my beautiful girl, "Brawling" (speaking of which, I really feel like some "karting"), lunching, eating a Cherry Ripe (cower in fear of its awesomeness, you peoples who don't have the glorious Cherry Ripe in your country of residence), thinking about what colours to paint my nails, walking around college and finally opening my books, only to get stuck after the first few problems.

Oh, boy...

I'm going out for dinner with my bible study group. I'd better finish this work sheet before then. I'm getting hungry. I want a hug.

Hope you like the new header and I know I change it too often...


Monday, 3 November 2008

Here goes no something.

No one is simply born "strong".

People only grow strong little by little, by encountering difficult situations and learning not to run from them, no matter how frightening or daunting they may be.

--Mother 3

Although possibly just a way of justifying the leveling up system in RPGs, it's quite a poignant moment in gaming none the less.

I feel stronger and full of more love than at any other time in my life. Why then is it so hard to do certain things, like study or exercise, when at other times things like that have been so easy? I can do anything, but at the same time I have a little trouble with the basics. I do like having a plan when I need to do something important (other times it's more fun just to wing it). So today I'll formulate exactly what I need to do. To plan... Good plan, 'ey?

Yesterday I visited my girlfriend's church. It was fantastic. I loved sharing with her in the service, a symbol of the faith we share and the hope we have in the Lord, Jesus Christ. With God's help, I pray that we grow in faith together and in love for each other and the Lord.

She made me lunch and dinner again. Goodness, gracious... She's far too kind. She made an awesome fruity cake creation, which turned out a little different than anticipated but was delicious all the same. Her banana bread tasted fantastic! I want more of that. I should do some cooking over the break.

Gosh... The break... I'll be working; monitoring water slides, teaching people how to use canoes, manning the station at the mini golf, etc. I better get into work mode. I think I'll probably handle it quite well after this long, studious year.

You grew strong for those you would otherwise be unable to help. They are the reason you are strong.

--Mother 3

He's a little champion, that Lucas. Losing his mother, his brother, coming through all the tears to be a leader. I've met someone recently who's a lot like that. He's very strong person because of the suffering he's come through. I felt honoured to hear his story. It's nice to hear the success stories once in a while.

I had an interesting conversation with some friends last night. Discussions on what society considers success, the differences in that perception between cultures and whether the system will change. Both from south-east Asia (different countries) and both weighed down by their respective cultures and the expectations put on them. One was more patriotic, in a sense (or at least more defensive), but the discussion was good. It was nice to hear that other people don't count their worth or happiness by the size of their bank statements, or the length of their swimming pool, despite a society that almost explicitly tells them that this is their measure of success (their description).

Now go forth, toward whatever stands out most in your eyes.

Go, facing not the darkness, but the light.

--Mother 3

I like smiling and I like it when you smile,


Saturday, 1 November 2008

Sweet trousers

The best costumes I've come up with have had very little preparation time and even less thought gone into them. Last night's party required a spooky or frightening costume. The final result was quite good, but the best part about the costume is the fact that I get to keep the sweet trousers I've created (with the help of a friend).

The costume itself consisted of a dog collar with a leather tie attached for use as a leash, a torn, black, sleeveless shirt, black shoes and some jeans which had been severed below the knee, then burnt to give a stylish finish. I also used some eyeliner to give myself a black eye and I was ready to play a convincing sub. Lucky my girlfriend was up to the task of playing a dom. She came in an amazing school girl outfit (tartan mini, tied shirt, beautiful pink treble clef naval ring, pigtails, spectacular leather boots; the works), which meant that we were deliciously inappropriate when put together in a public place.

She had fun leading me around and telling me what to do and I had a great time begging on all fours. I love dressing up.

I'm very tired now, though so I think it's time for a mid-afternoon nap. I have a baptism to go to this afternoon, so I'd best get some rest. Tomorrow I'm gonna visit the church my girlfriend goes to. That'll be cool.

Before you go, check out my pants!


Friday, 31 October 2008

Tally Hall, y'all

I just watched the latest episode of their internet show. Fantastic. Seriously, people. Check it out. They're a great band if you're after something a little quirky (aren't we all?) and feel like smiling. Don't not listen to Tally Hall! Stop it! Stop! Quit it! Is it that hard to stop not listening to Tally Hall?

I'm in the computer labs of another university. I feel like a spy. Mostly it's the rubber diving suit and the night-vision goggles I'm wearing, but it could also be the fact that I'm on their system, doing my own thing. That's right. You got it. Down and dirty blogging on computers that belong to a university that I don't even go to.

I got less than three hours sleep last night. I also got less than the recommended eight hours sleep, but it doesn't sound as impressive when I put it like that. Assignmenting isn't much fun right now. It's eating up my sleep time and I'm desperately trying to study, but they keep throwing assessment at me.

Last night I shared something special with a friend. Something that made us better people for the experience. We bought a kilo of bacon, a block of cheese, a loaf of bread and went nuts making cheese and bacon sandwiches. We went for a walk to the supermarket after my head started hurting and I was trying to cope with the fact that I still had many hours of work ahead of me. I thought to myself, let's get some donuts. But he had a better idea. Bacon. The only idea.

So I'm full of pig and feeling good.

Get some bacon in you. I did.


Thursday, 30 October 2008

Sichuan flames

Not in my mouth, though. That was nicely warmed, but not quite on fire. It's my digestive system that's aflame. Kong pow prawns, Thin beef strips in a hotpot, sichuan tofu, all delicious, all compounding the agony this morning.

It really was a nice meal out. Two people I love dearly sharing a meal with me. The waitress was adorable. She kept asking questions about what things are called in English and if the two white boys present could handle the spicy food, that she herself had trouble with. Of course the two of us could handle it without any problem (until eight or so hours later). The waitress asked her in Chinese which of the boys she was dating, the red one or the yellow one (by the colour of the tops we were wearing). She said she'd thought she worked it out by the fact that I'd reached my hands out to hold hers across the table. I'd say that's a pretty clear sign.

Girlfriend. Sounds nice, doesn't it? I like it. That's what she is.

The girl who was causing me trouble over the last few weeks (not the good kind of trouble either) has let up. She's decided that I care about her and that she's obviously done enough to hurt me of late, so she wants to be friendly again. I don't understand. Oh, well. It's nice not to be screamed at for a while. I care so much about her, so it's nice to see the same in return.

I just took a break there to scream for a while on the toilet. Yep. Just thought I'd entertain you all with that image.

My best mate from high school, who was at the restaurant (who is absolutely amazing) has been fantastic about everything. He's been understanding when I've been... errr... overenthusiastic with my affection for my girl. He's been there through the abuse I've received from certain others. He just keeps showing his love for me and it really is amazing. I love him so much. I pray that we'll stay close (geographically that is because we'll always stay close emotionally).

I really want to move into a place with him next year, but my parents reckon it'll cost a lot and would rather pay a little extra to keep me in a college for the convenience.


Catch you on the flip side. I got too much work to do.


Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Naughty naughty

Well, mostly not, but it is hard to get through the day without being a little naughty... Am I right? Last night, after Bible study, I returned home to one of my apartment mates so we could get freaky!

That's right! You heard me! We went at it for two hours! It was loud, it was intense and by the end of it we'd used up all our energy and collapsed in a heap. But it was so satisfying. We unlocked at least four challenge trophies! And now we are awesome at "Cruel Brawl" mode. We reckon Meta Knight is the go. His spin attack from side to side is pretty good. We aren't too bad when it comes to "Home Run Contest" either.

Ah, Super Smash Brothers: Brawl, how you bring people together. It's been fantastic having another person who loves Jesus living in the apartment and he's really been there for me when I've had a tough time of things.

Truly I tell you. Mario Kart Wii and SSBB have really helped bring people closer together. There's nothing like coming home to a voice saying, "Take off your shoes, pull up a controller and we'll de-stress for a while."

Another interesting phenomenon: How a family friendly game can bring about so much bad language. We make up the craziest insults. Usually they consist of a mash of really rude words in no particular order, the likes of which I won't post here. We make up alternate, unkind names for all the characters, just so we can call them by that name when they beat us. It really brings us together.

It was really good to be back at Bible study last night after missing a few weeks. We read Acts 17, which was fantastic. It was great how Paul, even in his distress, managed to find a foothold with which he could bring the good news of Jesus to the Greeks with whom he was talking; how he eloquently spoke in a way that made it familiar, without compromising the truth. In our mission to those around us it's often so hard to start off. But when we look at his time, we really see an environment very similar to our own. We see a place where everyone likes nothing better than to spend "their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas."

It really sounds like a University environment, which is especially relevant for me.

It really is good news, everyone. Have a fantastic week.


Monday, 27 October 2008

A mother of a choice...

Two assignments to do tonight...

But Mother 3 is here!

But the assignments are worth at least 25%...

Mother 3 will transport you to a place where the size of your heart determines your strength!

But doing well this year is a little more important than previous years...

But! But! ...Lucas! ...Flint! ...Salsa! All your friends!

The choice isn't as easy as you'd think. I mean, there's still a part of me that's considering doing the assignments.

Get some sleep and send it my way. I hope I'll see you soon,


Sunday, 26 October 2008


Well, do you like the new header? It looks like I'm 40 years old, and is reminiscent of icons we see of the Lord, except this time on His way to the office, just grabbing a coffee. But if people know me, I kinda look a little like that at the moment. Except I'm much, much younger.

I needed something to preoccupy my time. And it sure wasn't going to be study. Somebody very close to me is making it difficult to be happy. I only need a few minutes with friends, or a glance at a certain beautiful girl to make me smile again, but it's unpleasant to say the least. I'd almost call it slander, but it was only on a small scale and to someone who can be sensible, so no harm done, but it hurts that she'd lie to my face about something so grave. If it really were true, what she said, then I'm the kinda guy who would sit in his room crying for a while, then endeavour to rectify what I'd done. With my memory failing me at the best of times, I was worried for all of thirty seconds. I thought, what if I am like that? What if she's right? What if I just can't remember? Then I remembered the endless witnesses, and I sought out two who assured me that it was truly cruel to say such things about me.

But my mind can't be at ease. To say things like that about me, she must be hurting more than I can fathom. I hear from those who she spends time with that she cries a lot, to a lot of people. Why can't she see that I love her and want her to be ok? I pray that she'll strive for calmness of mind, and see all the people around her that want to help, and from whom she keeps isolating herself.

Cheer up, everyone. Love each other and be vigilant to help those around you. I'm trying my best.


Saturday, 25 October 2008

All that a man can do

I've done my best.

No, I haven't.

Hmmm... There's a problem when one thinks that one is able to overcome things that normal people can't. One tends to never give up, despite everything. But on the recommendation of those around, I think it's finally time for me to call it quits. It's certainly someone else's turn.

Abstract and self-certifying nonsense, that was. Again, perfect blog material. Yay for ambiguity!

Get your head sorted, folks. Maybe you just need to laugh a little. I think I'll play some Mother 3.



Thursday, 23 October 2008

Engineering student love

The fellowship that engineering students manage to achieve when compared to their fellow students is amazing. Maybe it's not as physical as the arts students, but that's probably for the best as we also tend not to wake up not knowing whose bed we happened to stumble into after a hard drinking session, followed by a poetry reading, then more hard drinking. Don't get me wrong, we like to drink and I'm sure some of our cohort are promiscuous, it's just that statistically, the options for shenanigans among our own group are severely limited. We are mostly males. Heterosexual males. With the exception of our foxy friends in chemical eng.

We share our assignments, we pull each other through, we share notes and buy each other alcoholic beverages. We show our love in "manly" ways. But it is a kind of love. Just look at the law department.

They back stab, refuse to discuss assignment work and have a perverse form of socialising (not in the arts student way, but just in a cold, detached way). They talk behind each other's backs and have a policy along the lines of "who falls behind, gets left behind". I'm so glad I'm an engineering student. A nice balance of socialising and study, sometimes with mild social incompetence, but overall a friendly bunch.

I'm glad the sun came out today to wash everybody's blues away. My dear friend wasn't feeling well yesterday, but he's cheered up now. He'd like to attribute it to some socialising he's done with a certain lady friend, but I'm gonna say it was all this sun.

Much love in this lovely weather,


Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Bacon and eggs

This morning bacon and eggs cured my headache. I awoke with a pounding head, in much the same state that I went to bed. After some bacon and eggs, all was well. Except that exams keep crawling closer and I have too many assignments to do and I missed an important lab session yesterday and I'm going to miss bible study again because I didn't realise that the performance was tonight that I agreed to go to (can't wait to see it, though) and on top of that you won't see her for another two days and...

Calm down.

Everything's going to be alright.

Evan, you just got a job secured for the summer, running around in the sun, patrolling waterslides and teaching people how to use a canoe, etc. That's true. That's pretty good. Your girl loves you. That's unbelievable. Then go have an awesome day.




Thursday, 16 October 2008

Sudden attack of nerves!

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

It'll be ok... I've just been having debates on a social networking site about certain issues and the responses I've received have made me really nervous...

For example: Capital punishment in Australia. I'm not going to put forward my point of view, but the examples I gave were pretty clear-cut. A friend claimed that it wouldn't be an act of vengeance, but that if anyone harmed his sister he'd want them to pay with their life. How can this not be vengeance?

I could understand if we're commenting on the financial drain on the system by keeping certain criminals in jail, but comments like: terrorists deserve death, to me, show a complete lack of understanding of the mindset a person needs to be in to commit such atrocities. Considering that we don't negotiate with terrorists, the argument that jailed terrorists can be freed from our country is a null one.

Maybe I'm just an engineering student who doesn't have a great deal of background in this theory, but I still can't help feeling nervous...

Another thing is that I've just put forward a view-point that isn't too popular to my precious one. She asked me online about it and I haven't gotten a response yet. I know she'll still care, but I can't help shaking a little.

I have a trial work period coming up after the job interview I had. My poor memory makes me worry that I won't be able to remember what I'm told to do... Will I remember what they ask me to do. Will I even remember to show up?

At least having a bad memory means that I won't remember to be nervous for too long. To take my mind off things, I think I'll to go "karting" with my friends from the Mushroom Kingdom.

May all your drifting result in mini-turbo,


Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Too much energy drink? Who's a bouncy monkey?

Well, thanks to 4 cans of energy drink, I pulled an all-nighter and submitted my assignment! Yay! Take that, Computational Mechanics! Now I must sleep off the throbbing wreck that is my head...

In other news, I think/thought I saw a monkey! It could have been a really large possum that cackled, but I'm fairly sure it was a monkey. Maybe I was more sure at 3:30 in the morning, but I'm still fairly sure. I was walking back through one of the largest parks nearby (one that contains not only the psych ward of the hospital, the Juvenile Detention Centre but also the zoo) at some ridiculous hour when across the road in front of me scampered a large, furry creature. As I moved toward the bushes into which it bolted, a screech came forth that nearly induced parasympathetic rebound (showing off the new lingo). I suppose only time will tell whether I did in fact see a monkey. I'll look out for the news report on the escaped monkey over the next few days.

I also received one of the most beautiful emails I've ever read yesterday. Without it I'm sure I wouldn't have lasted to complete the night's work. I've read it and reread it. I think I'm going to read it once more before I retire to bed (yes, it's nearly midday).

Wishing you all a portion of the joy I'm feeling,


Tuesday, 14 October 2008


Just kidding. I miss you.

Ode to almond tea

Almond tea, almond tea,
On the bench.
You taste like happy.
Chinese, not French.

-- TheSovietChairman, 2008

Monday, 13 October 2008

Sometimes I get frightened...

A close friend of mine tried to advocate the class system within her country of origin recently. Not just justify, but advocate. She claimed that it helped the small country pool its resources and put them where they would be best put to use. By the way, that wasn't with the lower classes. Why waste education, when there's barely enough resources for those who'll use it well? Another aside -- this is not a poor country.

I relayed my horror to my father, who laughed and said, "we used to claim that, back in England" - taking about our country's heritage, as my father has never been to England in person - "tell her to come back to talk in a hundred years' time."

Now, my friend wasn't quite as uncaring with her words as I've made out, but it still shocks me. Another friend said yesterday that all countries should have compulsory military service for all men, to - among other things - encourage dedication to workplace and help people make fewer mistakes. I'm not sure what he meant by the last statement.

Is it unjustified culture shock I'm experiencing or do Australians need to start showing our international friends that there are alternatives; that some of our values might have merit?

Although it's sad that feminism in Australia has taken many backward steps since the seventies, we have to remember what's good about our fair land and its people.

Stay safe, hug often.


Sunday, 12 October 2008

Hiccough or hiccup? I think I prefer hiccough...

I've been having too much fun with everything recently; from the restaurants to the clubbing last night to the sunny walks to the juice bar this afternoon. Hopefully this means I'll be in the right frame of mind when it comes to my job interview tomorrow. I had a little hiccough in the fun this afternoon, but hopefully things will smooth out in time. Mostly it's been fantastic!

We had a proper conversation (as we've been calling it) today. It was fantastic. We talked about upbringings and general philosophies. It seems better every day.

There's something strange I've noticed. Whenever I have doubts, she's sure of our relationship and how right it is. Whenever she has doubts, I know that we're fantastic together. It's probably just coincidence, as we haven't really had time to doubt. Overall, I'm sure that we'll look out for each other and that our amazing honesty has really helped us get to know each other and will help through further hurdles. She seems stronger and more relaxed and I'm getting better study and eating habits. Don't get me wrong, I eat healthy -- just in extremely large quantities.

Hmmm... After reading that, I've decided something. No more relationship blogging for at least the next five blogs. Hopefully that'll make it more readable.

Now, I'm going off to sing something by the Barenaked Ladies while nobody's in the apartment. Oh, and check the bus timetables to get back home from the station...

Ta ta!


Friday, 10 October 2008

Thank you, Lord for a great day

Gelati in the sun, spicy Chinese delights at a Vietnamese restaurant, a tasty raspberry and watermelon thick shake and a beautiful girl singing Ben Kweller to me to top it off. Smiles all 'round!

Yesterday was a good day. Today looks beautiful too.

Now I'm off to hand in an assignment!



P.S. Go watch The Mighty Boosh, y'all. Classic...

P.P.S. Anyone like the little picture of the fish and me? Wait.... Nobody reads this... Oh, well. If nobody responds, then I'm keeping it. At least as long as I have my beard, that is.

Thursday, 9 October 2008

Nail polish woes

I started the day with visions of dark blue with red flames. Stylish, no? How did I end up in magenta? Now there's a story for the ages.

After missing my first lecture (I'm missing a tutorial to write this), I was dismayed to find that my red nail polish hadn't been returned. What was I to do? I laboured on. I applied the blue, which was coagulating rapidly in the hope that orange flames would be nearly as exciting. After getting through the first hand, I realised that the blue was lumpy and terrible (it's in the freezer now in the hope of being resuscitated) and I would have to do the other hand in another colour scheme. Aaargh! Asymmetrical hands! Never mind.

I did green for the last four fingers (yes that's right, my thumb was blue, giving six blue digits and four green ones -- Awful...) and put a layer of light purple over the blue fingers to even them out. Success at last! The purple made them a delicious, rich lavender! However the greens were now looking a little lacklustre... I tried to add a magenta stripe down the side of the green ones, just to imbalance it further, but the magenta over the green gave terrible, almost brown colour. There was nothing for it, I had to remove the green nail polish.

After carefully unscrewing the cap from the nail polish remover, I was forced to twist in odd positions, so as not to damage my beautiful, wet, lavender nails. After some success, the inevitable happened. Simultaneously, I damage two of my lavender nails beyond repair. I was furious. What a fiasco! I just had to start again. What could I do when I had so many other things to get done? Then it hit me. The magenta was a quick-dry formula! I would have to settle for that. Soon, I would be sporting the glorious nails that are at present dancing across my keyboard.

Today's sunny. It's a wonderful day for magenta.

Have fun.


Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Change of topic

I tried to do something for someone (vague, huh?) but it ended up being mostly to my benefit and if anything, slightly to their detriment. Oh, well. She knows I care.

Hmmm... Let's talk about something other than her for a change (really, is that possible?). Otherwise someone will get bored (not me!). I have four assignments due in the next few days. How many have I done? None. Oh, well. One will happen this afternoon. Another will happen tomorrow night, then one for each of the next two days. Then a job interview on Monday. I'm applying for a job over the summer at a sort of recreation park near my place on the peninsula. Hopefully along side that I'll have a job at the pub, behind the bar for the evenings.

I haven't read in a long time. I mean, I keep up the Bible study, but reading for leisure is something I miss. I have a pretty interesting set of books here. A quick look at the shelf turns up the following: The First-time Cook, Black Cherry, Men in Feminism, Australian Ballads and Short Stories, Wicked!, Electrical Engineering Principles and Applications, The NIV Study Bible, Gaming: Essays on Algorithmic Culture, House of Leaves and The Pilgrim's Progress, Jane Austen: The Complete Novels. I love reading but I haven't had much time lately. The spare time which I've made has been filled with picnics and beach trips and other glorious fare. All in all, I've perhaps had a little too much fun.

Well, I've just produced "three unrelated paragraphs". Good title, that. On second thoughts, it's not that great.



Tuesday, 7 October 2008

First anecdote of the blog. Better write it quickly!

Why should I hurry? I think I'm forgetting things faster than I'm learning. Much faster. Much, much faster. That's not good for a uni student. Or anyone. But really, I'm blessed with lots of things in my life. Here's an example, before I forget:

There's a girl I'm keen on. Really, really keen on. Wait, I've used that literary device already... Anyway, she's different in a way that most parents would worry about. I've seen, first hand, parents worrying about smaller things. I'm so glad we share the same faith, so that we can - with God's blessing - grow in faith together. However, there are other things about her. To me, she's perfect. Not perfect, as in flawless, but a beautiful, broken person in this beautiful, broken world. Like me! So she's perfect for me. I can't see into the future but I pray that we'll be together... As you can see, I'm distracted -- all the time. Please get back on topic. OK.

Where... was... I... Ah, yes. Blessed. My parents love me and trust me, to a healthy extent, I feel. I received a very nice message from Mum after I sent her a text, thanking her for feeding the myriad of friends that had come through our doors and for being generally hospitable. What I was really trying to say was: "Thanks for being an awesome mum. P.S. I'm so glad you liked her." She sent back a message: "It is a pleasure to meet your friends and have some idea of what you are doing with your life. You could have made far worse choices than you have. I am proud of you and the friends you have made. Lots of love, Mum."

After rereading what I've wrote I just remembered that I'm supposed to be writing about my memory. Woops. Today I was sitting at the lunch table at college, eating a sandwich. I was tapped on the shoulder, by a friend who asked everyone if anybody had any free texts on their mobiles. I offered up mine, keeping the phone sock cover in my right hand. She proceeded to begin messaging. I took a bite out of my sandwich, looked around the table, then took a swig from my glass of lemon cordial (it's almost always lemon, so that's one thing I don't need to remember). All this took less than two minutes. I then caught a glimpse of the phone sock in my hand. I felt around my jeans then proceeded to look around the table. I shot up in my seat and hollered: "Crap! Where's my phone?!"

This has been happening with regularity (I think) for some time. Just forgetting little things. I never remember what class I'm supposed to be going to by the time I've walked to uni. I always have to look it up. Hmm... Now I'm thinking that if I did ever remember, I would probably forget that I've remembered in the past. That's confusing.

Don't get me wrong, though. I think I'm functioning adequately for the time being. I just wouldn't like to get much worse. But, like I said, I'm blessed in a whole lot of ways.

Well, that concludes my first ever blog.

I'll review it before I post it.

Hmmm... Too long, self-absorbed drivel with too many commas. Perfect blog material! Much love, I'm sure...