Friday, 13 February 2009

You're doin' it wrong

This is the first St. Valentine's Day that I'll be participating in to any real degree. I mean, certainly last year's was an effort, but it was a completely different story.

Last year, when I was "kind of dating" my last girlfriend (not in the usual on again, off again sense), she was scheduled to be back in the country on February 12th. As my girlfriends find out in turn, I'm the kind of guy who is very easy to care about when I'm around. Despite my forgetfulness, I will make every attempt to show said person the extent of my adoration. When I'm away from them, it becomes a whole other matter. I have a tendency to become paranoid. I never question the other's ability to remain faithful (as infidelity isn't something I could even imagine), but merely their ongoing affection for me. I become paranoid that they will only consider me an annoyance when I can't be doing things for them, just requesting contact all the time and I worry that my requests for confirmation will actually ensure that they won't like me when they return (I never go anywhere) and the paranoia builds and I become paranoid that my paranoia will ruin everything and... Stop! If I think about it, I end up shivering in the corner. Anyhoo, on to my story.

After much uncomfortable communication that demanded a returning of my affection, my girlfriend at the time had decided she probably didn't want to date me anymore. This was after I'd spent more than I ought to on a new outfit in preparation for St. Valentine's Day. I'd also booked a swish restaurant and was intent on enjoying a meal there come February 14th. She had decided that there was no way we would be able to go out for Valentine's Day evening because of a number of reasons (the main one being that - although I had been dating their daughter for a number of months - her parents weren't to be told of our relationship on her orders, despite the fact I had had frank communications of this exact nature on previous occasions with both of her parents). It seemed to me that she was ashamed of me. Her parents are forward thinking types and our difference in race would hold no qualms for them. I could only invent images of a perceived difference in social standing that meant my then girlfriend would feel a burdensome guilt at being so closely associated with me. To this day, I'm not sure of the extent to which my own paranoia influenced these fears.

Hmmm... Where were we? Ah, yes.

Anticipating her likely rejection of my continued requests to go out together on Valentine's Day, I put in place a fail-safe to ensure I would be eating expensive Japanese cuisine with a pretty girl whether or not she would be there. I got in contact with a friend of mine, who I enjoy going out to dinner with (where we can share our appreciation of spicy food, video games and anime, but who has no romantic intention toward myself - and vice versa) and who happens to be a pretty girl and disclosed my intentions for the special day and told her of my apprehension about whether or not I could successfully convince my girlfriend to join me. She said she was happy to play back-up on account of having no other plans for the day (a pretty girl? on Valentine's Day? outrageous, I know). She agreed to be in the city on that day and I would get in contact with her as soon as I knew for sure.

I did everything with that special girl's comfort in mind. I dressed immaculately, but not out of place for just a routine visit (with alternate evening wear in the boot - "trunk" for you yanks - of my car). I ensured I'd brought gifts for her and her sister to signify their return, rather than in celebration of any romantic holiday. I then worked my charm (you in the back! stop laughing!) and after a mere half hour or so, she was all over me (try and keep your stomachs down). My plan was nearly complete. All I had to do, now that she had reaffirmed her affection (or at least lust) for me, was convince her to join me at the restaurant.

This was unsuccessful.

I proceeded to get in contact with my back-up, who willingly obliged. She dressed beautifully in a deep purple, velvet jacket and I arrived to meet her in my fancy dining attire. I then treated her to the most expensive meal I have ever paid for. We had upwards of eight courses of dainty dishes, from sashimi presented on an ice sculpture to see urchin with caviar. We had a great time laughing about our situation and the fun we where having and gave a toast to the stubborn girl who had made this possible.

This Valentine's I don't have the funds to make an evening like that possible, which is sad, because the amazing girl, who I'm blessed to hold the affection of, is more worthy than any other on the planet. I hope I can at least make her smile.

Please tell me if I'm doing it wrong.

She has my heart, but I still care about all of you,


P.S. I must also acknowledge one of my best friends in the execution of the restaurant endeavour. Without him, it would have fallen apart. Thanks, mate. Your hospitality and assistance are much appreciated. I love you, mate.


  1. "I never question the other's ability to remain faithful" ... really?