Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Mindwrecked

Each time I reach a bit higher, it seems I have to remove one of the pieces from under me.

I've moved forward emotionally, psychologically, at the expense of testing the boundaries.
I've developed in my relationships, at the expense of pulling away some of their foundations.
I'm moved forward academically, vocationally, facing unknown, but potentially frightening costs.

Or maybe that's not it at all...

Maybe it's just a perverse way in which my efforts are paying off.

Important decisions are confronting me, but somehow I sense the presence of a new clarity.
I've made myself heard, completely unambiguous, so now my relationships can grow healthily.
I've experimented and weighed up what causes me to feel less than what I should, and now I see the futility.

As the old Sunday School song goes:

The wise man built his house upon the rock - So build your life on the Lord!

I know I've said this before, but it's worth repeating: If you don't want to see what happens next or if you're too frightened, then don't. But if you think you might miss something worthwhile, then see what happens. Let's blow something up. Let's take the tiny pieces and rebuild it better than it was before. Let's put in the effort and not let things get us down because there's too much at once.

I'm not going to get more than I can handle.

But, maybe... just maybe, if I can't handle what I've got...

...then...

...I haven't got what I should have.

Don't worry about me. Remind me that it's not just up to me alone. I've got help.

Now, let's see if I can take my own advice.

Have a good exam period, all you Uni students across Australia. My prayers go out to you all.

And please. Please, please, please. Please respect yourself. If something is holding you back, let it go. It might be hard. But try and see how it will be worth the effort.

TheSovietChairman

P.S. I'm trying to be subtle, for reasons of privacy. You know who you are. I care about you. Seriously. You know that. All your friends are trying to help. No more "Oh, well..."

P.P.S. If you think the last message in bold might be for you, it isn't. You would know.

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