Saturday, 26 September 2009

Mr. Fantastic

That's me. That's who I am. Ask anyone.

Now this begs a question. Why? I have no idea. For a long time I appreciated people telling me.

Now, I don't think it means much.

I've been told how amazing I am by people - beautiful people - who then go on to say they haven't got the time for me.

Well, we're all busy. I can accept that. But now you won't give me the time of day, let alone spend time with me.

This is old news, perhaps. Yes, I'm bitter. I put in effort, but people don't want to see it. They're embarrassed by it. Some people say they're ashamed of it.

That's strange. Oh, it's because I make you feel bad for not matching me.

Here's news: No one can.

That's why I'm Mr. Fantastic and you're not.

But wait a minute... Now I'm to be ridiculed for who I am? Wait, you liked these traits. Didn't you?

Oh. OK, you still do.

I don't get it. All the energy in the world, but not willing to put it into me.

You're all cowards.

I'm sick of the praise. It's useless. It's mocking. It's spiteful.

Look into my eyes and tell me I'm valuable. Why is that so easy, but a bit of self-reflection would tear your worlds apart?

It's as useful to me as a dead rat, if you won't put in the effort.

All of you need to take a look at yourselves- then punch yourselves in the face. That's what I did. Most days it feels good because I can face everyone, aware firstly of how weak and stupid I am. That's what gives me strength. But I'm running out.

Now that I'm Mr. Fantastic, surely I could have a point. In all likelihood, I'm right. Yes?

You know why I'm exploding? It must be because my efforts are wasted. It must be because I no longer punch myself in the face, because you all said you believed in me. And I believed the stupid hype.

My efforts? They weren't even wanted.

If you do believe in me, you're a fool. Believe in Him.

He took the ultimate punch to the face.

But if you do believe in Him, try putting your priorities in an appropriate order. Try putting others before yourself.

In fact- put ALL OTHERS before yourself.

Yes, I will say it: Grow up.

Wanna know how? I've got a Good Book, and some finger painting equipment. There's a good place to start.

All my love,

The Rat.


  1. let's lunch when uni's back :)

  2. *sigh*

    You know that quick to listen, slow to speak bit? I haven't really got the hang of it :).

    Lunch would be fantastic.

    Unlike this blog post :).

    Time to re-read James, methinks.

  3. Actually, after going through this blog post, it certainly makes jolly good reading :).

    Better as a piece of fiction.

    I'll try and kid myself that it is :).

    There. Much nicer.

  4. its ok, its part of the growing process... how will you learn the purpose behind the whole 'slow to speak, quick to listen' principle if you haven't seen the fruits of doing the opposite?

    but interestingly my devo included Phil 3:13 today... check it out ;)

    and I find that usually the 'best' posts are those written in the height of emotions lol

  5. Thanks :). You really do go above and beyond, don't you?

    Thanks for lending me a hand and a heart. Hmmm... Good devotion. Except I think I need to spend a while stretching before I start running again.

    I'm a little sore. Actually, mostly I'm just very tired.

    At church this week the service was held in a very different style to our usual way. We were very worried, because in order for something to work like that, everyone needs to get behind it, which is something our church often struggles with.

    We needn't have worried, though. It was enriching and refreshing.

    Mostly it was the punch I needed. It wasn't so much a punch as a wall waiting for me to run, head-on, into it.

    For all the beautiful things I know, it's important to remember everything I don't know. And everything I can't know.

    (And, yes, Teeng, if you happen to read this- I really do know it. Some things I know and understand- you and me. Some things I know but are too big or amazing to fully grasp- God's great gift. And some things just won't come into focus.)

    So, thanks again, Ames. Next time, let's forget I exist. I'm feeling self-absorbed and stupid.

    How was "As If... What If?"? Sorry I couldn't make it. I hope many hearts were opened up and softened to God's message.