Thursday, 10 September 2009

This is for her

You don't deserve me. I don't deserve you. The neither of us has done anything so worthy as to be deserving of each other. Or of our positions in life. Or of God's great gift. We aren't worthy, but still they are ours.

You lack so much, yes. But you have gifts abounding, such that I feel so very inadequate. We are both equally inadequate. Therefore we are perfectly adequate. I have no idea whatsoever what you mean by focus and drive, of which you are blessed to have far more than me, in a general sense.

What boundaries might you push? The boundaries of my love? There are none. You could make me very miserable, but you will never have to earn my love.

Some days I feel that people understand very little of what it is to love. I love those that people tell me to hate. I'm strange. To truly love is to love unconditionally and selfishly, as we learn from He who first taught us.

I will let you be who you want to be. Or who you are. Or whatever. Let me be who I'm meant to be. Your husband.

You may not be fascinated by me forever, but I will love you forever and remain with you forever. Reminds me of a song. But less whiny.

If you leave me, can I come too?
We can always stay
But if you leave me, can I come too?
And if you go, can I come too?

-- Mental As Anything

Don't be afraid. Or do. But be joyous as well.

Thank you for the pick-me-up today. Your laugh loosened the muscles in my face and warmed me amidst the wind's chill on the walk back.



P.S. My lyrics would read:

If you leave me, still I will smile
We will always stay
'Cause if you leave me, I will come too
And if you go, I'll still love you

P.P.S. There is no point promising not to cause each other pain. We will. But you don't need to promise never to leave my side. You don't need to be by my side, so long as you let me be by yours. :)


  1. Can I just point out that those lyrics by Mental As Anything are almost the definition of a personality disorder?

    enough deep ruminating thoughts now. I will come along with you for awhile because I am curious to learn what it is to love.

  2. Pro tip: "To love" NEVER involves "coming along for awhile".

  3. Thank you :). Wait, hang on...

    You're mine! It's the other way around!


  4. *groan*
    You boys. Get a room. You can give each other "pro tips".

  5. Stop ruining the fun...

    Get some rest.

    I love you.

    Both of you.