I owe all this to you. You gave me confidence in myself. You gave me hope for a bright future. You let me know your heart. You showed me what could be. You broke me. You refined me.
And you gave me this blog.
When I started, it was only because I was enthralled by the idea of a notebook I could carry everywhere, as long as I had my cell phone. Or that's what I told myself. Yours was the first blog I read and the template from which I worked (not your html template, clearly- mine's much nicer). I was able to express myself creatively again. Ever since I was six, I'd wanted to be a writer. My sister's artwork left me jealous. My engineering and computer science left little creative freedom and this place in cyberspace has been the outlet I've needed.
Looking back, I realise that those benefits weren't the reason I started this blog. You were. That's why, when my world fell apart a little, I decided to close down this blog. The reason for writing all these things down had disappeared. I just wanted to scream- and having this outlet could only be dangerous. I left it alone for a month- which as you know, is an eternity for me. Then I realised that I was becoming lethargic, and was stifling a potential cure: Renewed enthusiasm for whimsical self-expression. I'd blocked an important channel.
There are many other things I must thank you for (the gym, gastronomic delights, hospitality, extremely lavish presents and Abby, to name just a few), just as I hope there are a few things I've given to you that you'll want to keep the memory of (occasional sanctuary, a travel companion and excellent, tireless *********** are among them, I hope). However, this blog is something for which I will always be grateful, and I believe I need to thank you for it, rather than leave the last word on the matter as a depressing lamentation.
I seek no romantic attachment to you, and hope that I can show you, in time, a genuine and organic friendship.
I will ever hold you in my heart. I will always pray for God's blessing on you. I will keep crying when I hear Taylor Swift. I will await the time when joy flows between us and around us, as naturally and deliciously as honey-flavoured yoghurt around fresh strawberries. I look forward to one day seeing our friendship's roots proved true and stable.
Thank you, Aun Teeng.
Your friend in Christ,
Evan
P.S. If the discontinuation of your blog is at all related to me, then I am truly sorry, and wish that you would keep writing your wonderful, sometimes funny, sometimes stressed, sometimes joyful and sometimes disconsolate musings.
P.P.S. A supper of yoghurt and strawberries is highly recommended after a hot day in the city.
