Nightmares

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers.

Tonight was going to be the last Bible study for a while, but instead, we've decided to keep meeting each Wednesday until we're kicked out of our respective places of dwelling. That's good news indeed.

Now I just need to manage my studies. I've been missing deadlines, as I set them. It's hard to keep an eye on the big picture when other things creep into view. A smile that won't leave my mind, for example. My head returns to promises I'm told to break. I curl up. It's easier when I can look into her eyes.

Everything's easier in another's arms. There's a point where you know there's nothing you can do for the next little while. Your time isn't your own. It's shared. Just like your heart.

My heart doesn't belong to me.

Do I epitomise "needy"? Perhaps. It's more that my life is spinning. I'm trying to grab onto things. But I can't even take hold of an empty marmalade jar.

Do you think the same things are beautiful?

Will you let me dive into your soul?

Unlike Alice, I'm not moving slow enough to see.

But do I want it to stop spinning because I've fallen into loving arms? Or should I be strong enough to take control? Should I just hide?

I feel you around me. I'm scared you'll disappear. Please don't disappear.

TheSovietChairman

P.S. Gimme a break. I need one of these posts every now and again.