Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Try and stop me

I couldn't. Here goes.

Tonight we studied Luke 12:13-35. We looked at these passages with the topic of Grace for the Anxious (this week's topic for Commitment Month, week 3). We all came away feeling that we really need to trust God a little more. Or a lot more. His timing is perfect. Using the knowledge from last week (that we need to come before God and ask for that which we don't deserve, and to be persistent about it) we admit that God knows our heart and our fears, and that if we're not afraid to ask, we will see His work.

His work might not be on our terms, like the man who asked Jesus to make his brother split the inheritance, but it will be in our best interests if we have faith.

The overwhelming feeling I have is one of standing on the precipice, looking into the void. It's not darkness, but it's completely obscured. I know certain things. I definitely don't know others. What's worse is knowing something, with a gnawing sensation that things aren't going to happen the way we anticipate.

That gnawing sensation needs to be replaced with a trust in God. Not a confidence in the outcome, but confidence in an outcome.

My misguided cry for help was along the lines of the man asking for the fortune to be split. I need to look out, as best I can, for others. I wish they'd look out for me, but it's not a requirement. In fact it's the opposite of how I should work.

I have to acknowledge the help I've been getting. Thank you. You might not realise, but it's been fantastic. I love how you never question my motives. The trust you've put in me has been uplifting. It's tough trying to be a person of integrity if no one thinks you can be. Thanks for letting me talk my nonsense. Yes, if you think there's a possibility it could be you I'm talking about, well, it is you I'm talking about.

Prayers for stability would be much appreciated. But most of all, prayers for trust in God are what I need.

Also please pray for my two sisters. One is getting confirmed this Sunday, which will be a joyous celebration of a commitment to life in Christ. The other is facing tough decisions in her walk with God.

Now to review this post.

I think it passes. I didn't say anything I might regret. I think.

I love you,


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